Episode 34: Dear women, stop being nice, A SEAT WITH… Jennifer Walter
Remember that time you smiled and awkwardly said “thank you”, when in reality what you wanted to say was “F— off!” ? Yeah, we’ve all been there at some point in our lives. Women in particular we are socialised and raised to be nice in all environments and every situations. To discuss this further, today we sit down with Sociologist and Mental Health Practitioner Jennifer Walter. Sit down with us and discover the journey of self-awareness and empowerment in navigating personal boundaries.
We explore the complexities of people-pleasing behaviours, especially among women, and the distinction between being “nice” and being “kind”. Jennifer shares powerful insights about recognising physical sensations as indicators of personal boundaries, the impact of societal expectations on emotional labor, and actionable steps to start being true to oneself. But most importantly, the importance of community in personal well-being! Jennifer highlights the power of collective support in embracing individual values.
Discovering Boundaries: The Path to Self-Empowerment
In a world where societal norms often dictate our actions and reactions, understanding and establishing personal boundaries becomes essential for emotional well-being. Let’s explore critical insights into the nature of boundaries, the importance of self-advocacy, and the role of community in navigating these complexities.
The Importance of Boundaries
Boundaries are often viewed incorrectly as limitations or barriers. However, defining personal boundaries is vital for maintaining integrity and protecting one’s emotional safety. And Jennifer Walter knows one or two things about that. Recognising what feels comfortable and what doesn't is a crucial first step in identifying one’s boundaries. It can require tuning into physical sensations—such as tension or discomfort—that signal when you might be overstepping your own emotional limits. By paying attention to these signals, individuals can delineate their comfort zones more clearly and articulate them to others with confidence.
Acknowledging that it’s not a personal flaw to struggle with boundaries is liberating. These challenges often stem from societal pressures and expectations, particularly for women, socialised to be “nice,” which can overshadow and even threaten authentic self-expression. The process of understanding boundaries involves a deep exploration of personal feelings and experiences rather than succumbing to external expectations.
Cultivating Self-Advocacy
Self-advocacy is the skill of communicating one's needs and rights effectively. It's about understanding that one has the right to voice discomfort and assert boundaries. Practicing saying "no” in safe environments—like with friends and trusted individuals—can aid in developing this skill. Gradually, this ability can extend to more challenging situations, allowing one to communicate their boundaries clearly and assertively.
Moreover, confronting the fear of being perceived as “rude” can be transformative. It’s important to recognize that asserting boundaries is not about offending others but about respecting yourself. By reframing boundary-setting as an act of self-love rather than confrontation, individuals can empower themselves to prioritize their well-being without guilt. This shift not only nurtures healthier relationships but also fosters a sense of inner strength and authenticity. Ultimately, boundaries are the foundation for a balanced and fulfilling life, allowing us to engage with the world on our own terms.
👤 WHERE TO FIND JENNIFER:
Her Treehouse: https://www.jenniferwalter.me/treehouse?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAab0RJ7cLeVJyjN0_YNqIKu1mJPm1L7cvZJE0uK9YGA_TFCiFq28IYoLrr8_aem_YBZ7Qof_sz7LqRFfUAkpNA
Her Podcast: SCENIC ROUTE: https://scenicroute.buzzsprout.com
Her TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@itsjenniferwalter
Her Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itsjenniferwalter/
🔗 LINKS:
https://www.aseatwithme.com/newsletter
📫 WRITE ME:
aseatwithmepodcast@gmail.com
www.aseatwithme.com
👤 WHERE TO FIND ME:
https://www.tiktok.com/@soleneallcaps
https://www.instagram.com/soleneallcaps
With Love, always,
Solène ☀️